Thursday, 28 August 2014

Counter Monkey – D&D 5th Edition Review (Part 1)

What an idiot, does he even know what he's talking about because he's coming off like a dumbass as usual. Just to make this clear, he hasn't even played the 5th Edition, he's judging it based on the pictures in the book. Even if he is giving it criticism he should label the video as a "first impression" since he's not even played it yet, that would be like someone "reviewing" Call of Duty without even playing it, I'm looking at you Pat the Nes Punk. Back to Spoony, he is a total retard when he talks about this since he's complaining like a child, his main gripe throughout this entire video is that the pictures don't look the same since they're drawn by different people. He act's like the art should be the same even though it's drawn by different people so why the hell would the pictures have the same art style. He gives this explanation in the video, and yet he still complains.

God damn, cut that hair you molester
He says that he's trying to spend "your" money properly, because he wants to create a background for his counter monkey video's, he wants to buy a castle backdrop which will cost over 1000 dollars. Even though that's probably bullshit since he's just pocketing the money to pay his bills, what a pathetic piece of shit. He also act's like he's some grizzled veteran with 50 years experience, talking about the "old days", he's just act's like that because being retro is niche and a hipster. Don't even watch the video, as usual his opinion holds no weight.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

What you didn't know about Spoony

Ewww, Spoony chugged some of Linkara's magical elixir
Welcome one and all to the internet freak show that is the Spoony One aka Noah Antwiler. Here you will find some facts that you may or may not know about him, so bring on the monkeys.
  • He is / may be a Jew due to the fact he has a large nose
  • He started Patreon to pay for his Animu girlfriends hair dye
  • During a game of truth or dare he was dared to blow Linkara, suffice to say he lost.
  • He got his brother to point his police issued gun at a fan at his old house
  • Nostalgia Critic was considering to let Spoony back on TGWTG because he thought he would commit suicide like Jew Wario
  • Spoony's ex screwed a bunch of fans at a convention 
  • Has Type 2 Bi-polar takes medicine to cope
  • April was rumored to be fucking a black dude
  • Was nearly sent to rehab after overdosing on medication
  • Was nearly murdered in 2004 due to gambling debts
  • Is a poser
  • Doesn't know shit about video games
  • He is not funny
  • Killed a friend by making him eat pizza that was behind a toilet for 3 months, yes this actually happened and he admitted it during a counter monkey

Now you sort out the facts between the fiction, have fun.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Spoony One's Patreon Account

Support his Patreon, yeah right, the only thing I'd support right now is a Space Marine or a Super Mutant giving Spoony the fisting he deserves. But that's not what I'm here to talk about, I'm here to mention all those retards that are giving him 4,000 dollars plus every month! Even though the point of his Patreon was for him to make better videos and to actually put effort into them since he's getting payed. But he just sits there giving everyone the finger but all those idiots keep giving him money, and what's even sadder is that his Patreon money has went up an extra 66 dollars since the start of this month.

For his stupid big trouble in little china video he spent a ton of money buying an old computer and the game, and god knows what other crap he spent his money on instead of the show, probably a bunch of used sex toys that he shoves in his ass. And another matter I would like to address is his stupid wrestling video's, who the hell cares about his opinion, it's like watching Pat the Nes punks wrestling videos. Just stop with the shit and give us something worth a damn!

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Big Trouble in Little China (Commodore 64) Review

Well it's almost been a month since his last video, and no, Wrestle Wrestle and the Nostalgia critic episode don't count since they require little effort. And what did he decide to "review", Big Trouble in Little China for the Commodore 64, seriously why does he even bother to do anything when he does video's on the most mundane stuff.

He starts out the video with a painful sketch like all TGWTG video's, seriously it's like watching amateur hour at your local comedy club, except this time it ain't funny. It features Insano and what appears to be Spoonys fluffer talking about what happened to Spoony, they mention a Mako (pronounced Ma-Ko and not may-ko, faggot wapanese fanboy) explosion and my eyes begin to role because you know video game reference. After that opening sequence Spoony begins to riff the opening of the movie the game is based on, he mostly says a load of crap thinking he sounds smart but he does say one thing of major importance. He says that Final Fantasy 13-2 is in the "render queue", I'm pretty sure that porn video of spoony getting ass raped by Space Marines from Warhammer 40k is also in that render queue.
April-chan is not amused
After that he starts talking about the movie and the lengths he went to get a working Commodore 64 from Germany, because Spoony loves his German scat, what didn't you know he loves it when his fans and April all take a dump on his chest, all at the same time! Anyway, I'm pretty sure that his Paetron money payed for all Commodore 64 crap he bought, that and April's hair dye. As usual it takes him seven and a half miniutes til he actually talks about the game, and boy is the rest of the video as painful as Spoony One's tantrums.
What the hell am I looking at?
He seriously goes through the game like he's the Angry Video Game Nerd, while randomly cutting to clips from the movie to keep you entertained, but even those can't save this video. It's like watching the early days of the Irate Gamer, except it's worse because remember this is the Spoony One, aka Noah "cumdumpster" Antwiler. He get's so desperate he resorts to playing the Gangnam style music to his low pan style, "insert angry comment here".
Yeah, I bet this is what fucks him at night
And after all that he ends the video parodying the end of the movie and a headless appears holding a highlander game, oh god, it better not be another Commodore 64 game because I don't want to watch another AVGN rip off video. But remember this is Spoony, so he's always gonna do something stupid, like threaten someone with rape, who said that?

Better yet, shove that rope up his ass
Spoony can read alright, but he needs giant font because he's bipolar
Don't we all just love that anime troll
That's all I got......for now!