Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Black Hole of Board Games – Nightmare: Back in the Hole

Finally the long wait is over...Spoony released a video and it's good. I actually didn't expect to like it. I'll just bullet point what he did wrong and what he did right and how he could have improved the video since he does fail in some aspects. Ahem...

  • He covered multiple games in one video even though he should have did separate video's
  • He took over a month to put out this video
  • Was the poll rigged to begin with or did he want to get the nightmare games out of the way because I still don't see Rap Rat
  • He skipped over a lot of footage from the board games
  • This video was probably filmed at Halloween because he has cobwebs in the background
  • It's nice to see him actually explain how the board games work and how they suck
  • He didn't show the Baron dancing scene
  • The cosplay segments were well done

With that out of the way let's look at some comments:

So much truth in this post.
Not seeing it Bro.
Ah, never again...
Verdict: Good video.

Friday, 14 November 2014

Wrestle! Wrestle! Hell in a Cell 2014

I really took me a while to make a post about this video, it mostly because I don't care about the Spoony One anymore. He's just so darn lazy that there's not much point complain about him because he has an Army of basement dwellers that will defend him. With that out of the way lets get to the video.

What we have here is a man or rather man-child that is obsessed with wrestling. To the point that he cant see that it's just a piece of entertainment. Wrestling isn't meant to have a meaning or some deep symbolism behind it, it's just people beating up each other for our enjoyment. That's what it is, but Spoony is taking it way too seriously, like he's got something to prove. Why else would he be so nitpicky, or is he just trying trying to tell everyone that he "knows stuff" . But if this were the case wouldn't he put effort into his wrestling video's? But no, we just get some washed up has been going insane because he hasn't been taking his meds, or is this what he's like when he had taken them. Anyway, this has gone on long enough and you pretty much guess that Spoony is a lost cause.

And this video probably was the one he mentioned in his last video. It's just getting sad now, have a nice day everyone.

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Spoony: The Motion Picture?

Spoony counting how many different fluffer jobs he has.

I can't believe this, he reached the movie goal. Not only are the guys over at Paetron idiots, they are fucking retarded to be giving some ADHD spastic 5K a fucking month. But enough of that he was a movie to make which will probably come out sometime in the Year 40K where Spoony will be a God encased in Gold worshiped by all. Wait that's War hammer 40K, anyway never mind he's just gonna use this to push back his video's even more. Pathetic...

Apparently he has a lot of footage but hasn't had time to edit it, he's lying out of his ass as usual because he's a coward and he can't face the truth that he's a lazy bastard. He wants to do more counter monkey's and wrestling video's even though it's only him in front of a camera, that literally takes no effort. He say's he been looking for an editor to edit his footage for him and that's what is keeping him back but he has other priorities which basically mean's he's jacking off to Chinese cartoon's all day. That or being pummeled by two 10 foot black guys with 2 meter wieners, we all know it's true that his real job is a fluffer.

He's going through this entire thing like he's holding himself together with medication, what other reason is there for him being so calm in his recent video's. He said "April say's he's a control freak when it comes to editing", but we all know he's a control freak all the time. Card's against Humanity, I can't believe he brought this up, he say's he's recorded hours of footage but he needs to cut it down to a watchable length. He doesn't have a job so what the hell is he doing all day, being strangled in the shower by April?

He said he's gonna have a video up by Halloween but only time will tell if he actually does it, but we all know the end result will be this:

Anyway, let's get away from that bizarre creation and take a gander at the comments section on his website instead of YouTube because he banned comments on this video on YouTube.

Can you believe in this?
Yeah, like we'll ever since the movie in our lifetime.
But don't you remember? It's in the render queue.

And I put more effort into this post than Spoony has on any of his video's this year, and I'm not even being payed for it. This guy is as trustworthy as a Japanese Otaku, but will shit all over you but only one will not steal your change.

Friday, 17 October 2014

Do Not Game - Dig the Black Hole all the way to the Tonight Show

I think he's finally gone off the deep end, if you think one person being unfunny is just sad, two is just as bad. He wants to be on the Tonight Show, I mean really...does he actually think he has a shot of getting on there? If so, should we root him on to see if he actually does get on TV so the entire world can see how big of an asshole he is? I say yes because what's the harm in trying, that and I want to see how he get's owned by a terrible professional comedian. Let's get this done guys, spread the links and the spice must flow!

He's got a good point
Captain Obvious
It's weird seeing that most of the comments are pro Spoony getting on the tonight show
Ewww, gross dude, you've got some problems

Well I wonder if they'll even consider him, but in the meantime he better be working on his next video instead of thinking about stuff that will never happen.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Black Hole of Board Games - Viewer's Choice 2

Wow, I didn't expect this, he put out a genuinely funny video. I'll keep this short since I actually liked the video, so let's begin. The video is basically him showing clips from vcr games that he wants to review, but he needs our help to decide which one he should do. Though everybody is screaming for Rap Rat so hopefully that's what he'll do, the poll ends at the end of this month so he better not be sitting on his ass and not working on the video in the meantime. And since none of the comments are constructive criticism there won't be any in this post. Though I've got to wonder, is he like this now because he understands that the only thing keeping him going is the Paetron fund?

Monday, 29 September 2014

Wrestle! Wrestle! Night of Champions 2014 - Part 1

Spoony staring off screen to his fluffer
Spoony ranted for a long time so to save you reading blocks of text I'll summarize it and put it into bullet points. But just remember to "beware the humidity".

What did we learn:
  • Spoony has good Internet
  • Canada has bad Internet
  • It was a bad pay per view
  • You paid 55 dollars for this shit
  • Buy the WWE Network
  • Spoony has problems with John Cena
  • John Cena has rejuvenate properties 
  • John Cena is hatched from cloning Tanks (Just liked Solid Snake)
  • Get Eva Marie out of the ring (It's on the network)
  • It's only 9.99
  • Spoony thinks that he knows how to run the WWE
  • Spoony was considering buying an album
  • He said Gusto, who the hell even uses that word (besides anime characters)
  • April apparently watches Wrestling with Noah
  • Spoony saw the Miz and Dolph Ziggler's ass crack
Now wasn't that easy to read, well now you can go through the YouTube comments so you can torture yourself some more. That's if you survived watching the entire video, it's like a drinking game except it physically hurts. And I wonder what's on that page he's holding, it's not his grocery list but it could be a list of expenditures for his living expenses. Which is probably written down as "these idiots actually pay me almost 5 grand a month". Verdict: Use the video for background noise.

Sunday, 21 September 2014

Black Hole of Board Games – Power Slam VCR Wrestling

Wait, what, Spoony One released a new video! Oh wait it's a shitty black hole of board games video and it's about a wrestling one, oh joy. It's time again for another rambling shit storm that he calls a video, and out of all the board games he could have chosen he picked a subject he has already covered, why couldn't he have chosen the Star Trek or the Wayne's World VCR game. They are much better material to work with and probably would have been funny video's if he chose them but no he had to go for the mundane and idiotic.

April-chan is not amused.
He starts off the video in his own little world where his script becomes reality, in layman's terms, amateur hour. Oh and April appears because she's a part of the "show" now, that and it gives the fan boys another thing to fap over besides Spoony. After the opening part he then plays the intro with updated clips which is more entertaining than this entire video, it takes him a minute and a half to actually start talking about the game. The rest of the video is him explaining how the game works and making rather shitty jokes, this video may not be the best but it's far better than those stupid counter monkey videos. And for some reason he's now watermarking his video's with his website link for some reason, probably trying to avoid copyright strikes or something like that. He does get hung up on the pronunciation of suplex which the announcer was saying as su-play because old people are stupid like that, boy does he like to rant because that's what he thinks his fanbase wants.
Though there is one thing that he does right and that's the appearance of the Wyatt family from wrestling fame, this is the kind of stuff he should be doing and not messing the fanbase around. I mean what's wrong with a medieval knight holding him hostage to make him do a counter monkey, you know tying in the very thing you are reviewing into your video. Anyway time for some glorious YouTube comments:

That's probably because she is.
You see I'm not the only one who wants him to do a video on the Star Trek tape.
I know, the lazy bastard!
I wonder what the hell he's gonna review next, it better not be another wrestling vcr game because he's taking forever making a video for Final Fantasy 13-2.

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Counter Monkey – D&D 5th Edition Review (Part 1)

What an idiot, does he even know what he's talking about because he's coming off like a dumbass as usual. Just to make this clear, he hasn't even played the 5th Edition, he's judging it based on the pictures in the book. Even if he is giving it criticism he should label the video as a "first impression" since he's not even played it yet, that would be like someone "reviewing" Call of Duty without even playing it, I'm looking at you Pat the Nes Punk. Back to Spoony, he is a total retard when he talks about this since he's complaining like a child, his main gripe throughout this entire video is that the pictures don't look the same since they're drawn by different people. He act's like the art should be the same even though it's drawn by different people so why the hell would the pictures have the same art style. He gives this explanation in the video, and yet he still complains.

God damn, cut that hair you molester
He says that he's trying to spend "your" money properly, because he wants to create a background for his counter monkey video's, he wants to buy a castle backdrop which will cost over 1000 dollars. Even though that's probably bullshit since he's just pocketing the money to pay his bills, what a pathetic piece of shit. He also act's like he's some grizzled veteran with 50 years experience, talking about the "old days", he's just act's like that because being retro is niche and a hipster. Don't even watch the video, as usual his opinion holds no weight.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

What you didn't know about Spoony

Ewww, Spoony chugged some of Linkara's magical elixir
Welcome one and all to the internet freak show that is the Spoony One aka Noah Antwiler. Here you will find some facts that you may or may not know about him, so bring on the monkeys.
  • He is / may be a Jew due to the fact he has a large nose
  • He started Patreon to pay for his Animu girlfriends hair dye
  • During a game of truth or dare he was dared to blow Linkara, suffice to say he lost.
  • He got his brother to point his police issued gun at a fan at his old house
  • Nostalgia Critic was considering to let Spoony back on TGWTG because he thought he would commit suicide like Jew Wario
  • Spoony's ex screwed a bunch of fans at a convention 
  • Has Type 2 Bi-polar takes medicine to cope
  • April was rumored to be fucking a black dude
  • Was nearly sent to rehab after overdosing on medication
  • Was nearly murdered in 2004 due to gambling debts
  • Is a poser
  • Doesn't know shit about video games
  • He is not funny
  • Killed a friend by making him eat pizza that was behind a toilet for 3 months, yes this actually happened and he admitted it during a counter monkey

Now you sort out the facts between the fiction, have fun.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Spoony One's Patreon Account

Support his Patreon, yeah right, the only thing I'd support right now is a Space Marine or a Super Mutant giving Spoony the fisting he deserves. But that's not what I'm here to talk about, I'm here to mention all those retards that are giving him 4,000 dollars plus every month! Even though the point of his Patreon was for him to make better videos and to actually put effort into them since he's getting payed. But he just sits there giving everyone the finger but all those idiots keep giving him money, and what's even sadder is that his Patreon money has went up an extra 66 dollars since the start of this month.

For his stupid big trouble in little china video he spent a ton of money buying an old computer and the game, and god knows what other crap he spent his money on instead of the show, probably a bunch of used sex toys that he shoves in his ass. And another matter I would like to address is his stupid wrestling video's, who the hell cares about his opinion, it's like watching Pat the Nes punks wrestling videos. Just stop with the shit and give us something worth a damn!

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Big Trouble in Little China (Commodore 64) Review

Well it's almost been a month since his last video, and no, Wrestle Wrestle and the Nostalgia critic episode don't count since they require little effort. And what did he decide to "review", Big Trouble in Little China for the Commodore 64, seriously why does he even bother to do anything when he does video's on the most mundane stuff.

He starts out the video with a painful sketch like all TGWTG video's, seriously it's like watching amateur hour at your local comedy club, except this time it ain't funny. It features Insano and what appears to be Spoonys fluffer talking about what happened to Spoony, they mention a Mako (pronounced Ma-Ko and not may-ko, faggot wapanese fanboy) explosion and my eyes begin to role because you know video game reference. After that opening sequence Spoony begins to riff the opening of the movie the game is based on, he mostly says a load of crap thinking he sounds smart but he does say one thing of major importance. He says that Final Fantasy 13-2 is in the "render queue", I'm pretty sure that porn video of spoony getting ass raped by Space Marines from Warhammer 40k is also in that render queue.
April-chan is not amused
After that he starts talking about the movie and the lengths he went to get a working Commodore 64 from Germany, because Spoony loves his German scat, what didn't you know he loves it when his fans and April all take a dump on his chest, all at the same time! Anyway, I'm pretty sure that his Paetron money payed for all Commodore 64 crap he bought, that and April's hair dye. As usual it takes him seven and a half miniutes til he actually talks about the game, and boy is the rest of the video as painful as Spoony One's tantrums.
What the hell am I looking at?
He seriously goes through the game like he's the Angry Video Game Nerd, while randomly cutting to clips from the movie to keep you entertained, but even those can't save this video. It's like watching the early days of the Irate Gamer, except it's worse because remember this is the Spoony One, aka Noah "cumdumpster" Antwiler. He get's so desperate he resorts to playing the Gangnam style music to his low pan style, "insert angry comment here".
Yeah, I bet this is what fucks him at night
And after all that he ends the video parodying the end of the movie and a headless appears holding a highlander game, oh god, it better not be another Commodore 64 game because I don't want to watch another AVGN rip off video. But remember this is Spoony, so he's always gonna do something stupid, like threaten someone with rape, who said that?

Better yet, shove that rope up his ass
Spoony can read alright, but he needs giant font because he's bipolar
Don't we all just love that anime troll
That's all I got......for now!

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Nostalgia Critic: BloodRayne

I know this isn't a Cinema Snob or Spoony video but since both of them posted it on their sites, this gives me a reason to tear all of them a new one. Let's begin...
Ah, the perfect photo for the sex offender registry, get to it internet
It starts off like a normal Nostalgia Critic video, a bad comedy sketch that nobody finds funny, this lasts about 2 minutes before we get whatever the hell this is.
More like: l'entente tripler pas drĂ´le
The three of them talk a little about the movie before Linkara mentions that incident a couple of years ago, that he never went to Castleton, but we all know that he really means the whole rape threat incident that Spoony caused on twitter. Anyway onto the movie, they just talk their way through the movie in traditional TGWTG style poking at moments in the movie which they think are stupid. Here's an example:

In the movie Rayne get's her hand put into a bucket of water and it burns her, the "critics" poke at this moment and say how stupid it is and how Uwe Boll probably just made it up, this has in fact be taken from the actual video games and other video games such as Soul Reaver, the water could have also been blessed. This clearly shows that they haven't done there research and are just a bunch of bigots because it's a  "Boll" movie.
They are like this throughout the entire movie, they just pick at stuff and expect you to laugh because their chemistry together is so good, which in fact it's not because alone their unfunny but together they even unfunnier. Instead of critically analyzing the movie or just making actual funny jokes they just become one big mess of shit, though the only thing people say they do together is plugging each others butt holes, how did you think the writing process went.

Before the ad break Meatloaf appears and this was the worst part of the video because...well just look below and you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure that's what's left of their charity drives after they spend it all on themselves
I could spend all day writing this post but if you've already seen the video by now you'll understand why it sucks, there is so much more they got wrong about this movie and they act like it's the worst of the worst. Even though it's just an average campy movie, maybe they could see this if they could get past their own overblown ego's, it's not like there wasn't effort put into this movie because there was. It just takes a fan of the video games to notice, anyway watch the video and make up your own mind, I hope you come to the same conclusion that I have. I'd like to see them take on one of Boll's better movie's like Postal, Tunnel Rats, Far Cry, Rampage or Stoic. Because Boll did get better as his career went on.

Friday, 31 January 2014

The Aftermath of Jew Wario's Death

I was gonna type this up a few days ago but a few problems occurred, for those of you who want to listen to my story continue reading for for those who want what this title is about then skip ahead. This isn't for you to feel sorry for me or whatever your want to think, it's just the reason why this was sort of delayed as I want to share it with you guys. Nothing more, nothing less.

Recently I applied for a retail assistant at a recruitment agency (Yes I am unemployed actively seeking work), when I arrived I told them so and I got past the first round interview and onto the second. The next day we got sent out half way across the city to observe door to door salesmen (For 5-6 Hours) who accompanied us, I applied for a retail assistant but this happened for some reason but I was ready to take anything so I took down notes, observed how it all operated and the experience was good.

They offered me the job and I happily accepted, the next day was my first training day in where I learned the ropes of the trade for an our or two and then again was sent off to observe more door to door sales. I did that for 4-5 hours (Meant to Finish by 9:00 that day and again only learned after I was out there) and asked what hours am I working and on what's days, what words I received next struck a dagger in my heart. I was told that I was too work 6 days a week Monday-Saturday with work hours from 11:30 am to 9:00 pm being paid by commission, that right there shocked me. I knew how I would be paid but I was never told my hours or workdays and what the job required was too much for me so I told them half way through the first training day that I am reconsidering the job and left. Days of hell, I was tired and bombed out afterwards and thus this post was pushed back not that anyone cares but there you have it. Now onto the topic at hand.

The Aftermath of Jew Wario's Death
It has been a while since he has departed and many people paid their respects faithfully towards him like The Game Chaser's, for the purpose of this blog im only gonna talk about those internet reviewers that I myself know as I don't watch much of them overall. I also want to get things straight, I don't hate or dislike Justin Carmical and I only know him from The Game Chaser videos. Nothing more nothing less, he seemed to be a happy friendly guy but what happened. I think that his personal project Kamen Rider didn't kick off as he needed money and help to get it off the ground, I know that from when The Game Chaser's brought it up in a video. I believe that this what was involved in making him do it, that's my thoughts on what happened.

This is how you send off a friend, this was more than either Cinema Snob, Angry Joe or Spoony One did because they just pretended to be his friend because they never promoted him when he was alive. Im more talking about Angry Joe/Spoony One as it seems Cinema Snob was greatly shocked by what happened.

Angry Joe
It's unbelievable what he did, Angry Joe forced out false tears while looking off screen to read a script. I noticed that myself and this guy right here points everything out and angry joe did monetize the video. I don't even have words to explain how wrong that was and Angry Joe denied it even though it's a fact and there is proof.

When Angry Joe did his tribute video people raged in the comments section and here is a bunch of them, also the twitter rage when he was confronted with it.


Yes messy indeed, this last one makes alot of sense of please read.

Meanwhile a fundraiser was started and I was shocked to notice this, they wanted to raise $850 so is that what his life was worth in damages. I don't think they should have ever done this, I know it's for a good cause but still.

Spoony One and Cinema Snob
Spoony quickly moved on and talked about wrestling meanwhile brad eats chicken, yes I did edit that for dramatic effect but you know what I mean. They just seemed to have moved on rather quickly for people in morning.
I just wanted to archive these events for future reference, nothing more nothing less.

In other News
Spoony puts off a video and brad tries because he is too lazy to create a new review.